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January 2009 
MySpace Rehab
Posted on May 19th, 2007
by 
L'el
L'el
A self-help guide for the newly converted, checking out Zaadz for the first time.
1) Take a deep breath.
2) Don't worry, the site has fully loaded, even though there are no spastic flash prize ads glaring in your face. This calm, warm backdrop? It's here to stay.
3) Relax. You're being welcomed, not judged. There's no ranking here. No "top eight", no meat market photo ratings. Just be your wonderful unique self. It's INNER beauty that counts here.
4) As a recent MySpace refugee, when you receive your first Zaadz friend invite, you may find yourself having to work on your cringe reflexes. But you'll find pretty quick there are no hit-and-run THX 4 THE ADD!!$@!!s here. No one who just (cover your eyes, children) "warnts to fuck u 2night". More likely than not, you'll find yourself reading a compliment about your "inspiring" profile, and nodding along to the articulation of life philosophy that you both have in common. It may seem strange and disorienting at first, but you'll find this thing called "real communication" is pretty nifty.
8) Love yourself. Just the way you are.
1) Take a deep breath.
2) Don't worry, the site has fully loaded, even though there are no spastic flash prize ads glaring in your face. This calm, warm backdrop? It's here to stay.
3) Relax. You're being welcomed, not judged. There's no ranking here. No "top eight", no meat market photo ratings. Just be your wonderful unique self. It's INNER beauty that counts here.
4) As a recent MySpace refugee, when you receive your first Zaadz friend invite, you may find yourself having to work on your cringe reflexes. But you'll find pretty quick there are no hit-and-run THX 4 THE ADD!!$@!!s here. No one who just (cover your eyes, children) "warnts to fuck u 2night". More likely than not, you'll find yourself reading a compliment about your "inspiring" profile, and nodding along to the articulation of life philosophy that you both have in common. It may seem strange and disorienting at first, but you'll find this thing called "real communication" is pretty nifty.
5) Hey! Did you notice, your headache went away? And the fits of epilepsy have stopped? Go on, post a blog, and read the comments. No oversized sparkling graphics! And no one will "run you over" with "a motherfucking truck" designed from stacks of letters. Try not to be suspicious. You may get tons and tons of affirmations, and maybe a bit of spiritual tousling, but really, we swear, NO motherfucking text trucks coming out of motherfucking nowhere.
You're safe, here.
6) Breathe again. Remember your body. No, no, this isn't a meatmarket thing. Maybe you were just a hip, constructed image on MySpace, but here, we like you whole. We want you to be at peace with your whole self, and to find balance, with your whole self. Check out that little tab called "goals" on your profile. Feel free to dream up your best, most authentic self for thirty years from now, or two seconds from now. Your potential is boundless, just like your heart.
7) Grieving is healthy. It is a typical process that we human beings experience in response to any loss, or ending. Even when one is leaving a shallow, abusive relationship, such as with MySpace (you remember that time they tried to claim copyrights to everyone's personal photos, right?). You may find yourself missing your MySpace community. The childhood friend, the long lost ex. We're not saying your shiny new Zaadzster friendships will can or should replace any of your special connections.
What we're saying is INVITE THEM TOO!! Your friends will love you all the more for opening their eyes to what they've been settling for, and what they can look forward to on Zaadz. Trust us, an invite to take a friendship to a new level of authenticity, is FAR, FAR better compliment than hitting someone with a motherfucking text truck.
6) Breathe again. Remember your body. No, no, this isn't a meatmarket thing. Maybe you were just a hip, constructed image on MySpace, but here, we like you whole. We want you to be at peace with your whole self, and to find balance, with your whole self. Check out that little tab called "goals" on your profile. Feel free to dream up your best, most authentic self for thirty years from now, or two seconds from now. Your potential is boundless, just like your heart.
7) Grieving is healthy. It is a typical process that we human beings experience in response to any loss, or ending. Even when one is leaving a shallow, abusive relationship, such as with MySpace (you remember that time they tried to claim copyrights to everyone's personal photos, right?). You may find yourself missing your MySpace community. The childhood friend, the long lost ex. We're not saying your shiny new Zaadzster friendships will can or should replace any of your special connections.
What we're saying is INVITE THEM TOO!! Your friends will love you all the more for opening their eyes to what they've been settling for, and what they can look forward to on Zaadz. Trust us, an invite to take a friendship to a new level of authenticity, is FAR, FAR better compliment than hitting someone with a motherfucking text truck.
8) Love yourself. Just the way you are.
Access: Public
I'm doing something right now that is a cross between chuckling and giggling after reading your blog. I still love myspace, but that is because of the quality of friends I have there and I like the “messy vitality” of it. but I love zaadz on another level.
and I LOVE the world without oil idea. I have to explore it more and read the rest of your blogs that I haven't read yet and thank siona for sending me over to see your blog.
somewhere floating around my mind today was a reminder to myself to HELP rather than criticize. it had to do with husband and housecleaning, but it applies pretty much anywhere. your mention of inviting friends over to zaadz from other venues made me think of it. I think sideways. zaadz helps. :-)
thanks for the chuckle / giggle / inspiration.
-dawn